Originally from:

AAA Handbook on Mediation - Third Edition

MANAGING CLIENT EMOTIONS: HOW A MEDIATOR CAN HELP

L. Therese White and Bill White

I. Introduction
Anger. Sadness. Fear. Disgust. Shame. As you well know, disputes are often full of powerful, negative emotions on both sides. Sadly, these emotions can overwhelm good judgment and damage attorney/client relations, thereby reducing the possibility of a timely and successful out-of-court resolution. Sometimes, they even force an otherwise risky and unnecessary trial.
This chapter is about helping attorneys and other professional conflict managers reestablish order after the client’s emotional brain has overpowered his thinking brain. It’s also about the effective use of mediators to accomplish this task.

II. When Emotions Take Over
In his book, Emotional Intelligence, Dan Goleman says, “[emotions] are self-justifying, with a set of perceptions and proofs all their own …When in control, the emotional mind harnesses the rational mind to its purpose, thus distorting past memories and current realities.” What matters is what seems to be rather than what is, what is desired rather than what can be reasonably expected, and what is demanded rather than what can be negotiated.