Originally from World Arbitration And Mediation Review (WAMR)

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A CASE FOR MEDIATION: FAMILY

MEDIATION IN INTERNATIONAL CHILD
CUSTODY CONFLICTS
By Christoph C. Paul*and Dr. Jamie Walker **

A Cooperative Project Between The Federal Mediation Association
(Bundesverband Mediation, BM) And The Federal Association For
Family Mediation (Bundesarbeitsgemeinschaft Für
Familienmediation, BAFM).

I. INTRODUCTION
Since 2002, the BAFM has been in charge of a network of mediators
who help settle international conflicts involving parents and children (in
connection with proceedings under the Hague Convention on the Civil
Aspects of International Child Abduction [HCA] and with regard to
visitation between parents of dual nationality and their children). Apart
from professional mediation training, these mediators draw on international
experience, including a command of the relevant languages. Since the
beginning of 2007, this project has been carried out in cooperation with the
Federal Mediation Association (Bundesverband Mediation, BM).
These cases are always highly escalated. In addition to a disrupted
relationship and the usual disappointment, fear of loss, and financial
worries, there are basic decisions to be made concerning the place of
residence as well as plans for the professional and personal future, which
have far-reaching consequences for the contact between parents and
children. Parents who abduct their own children — in Germany, 70% of
abductions are carried out by women — are driven by despair. This
frequently results in situations which both parents consider almost hopeless.
The complicated but necessary legal agreement causes expenses that cannot
be calculated in advance and which, in turn, result in fear. The longer the
contact between the child and the absent parent is interrupted, the more
difficult it becomes to restore it in an impartial way. The younger the child,
the more likely it becomes for him or her to lose the language of the absent
parent or to fail to learn it in the first place — a fact which makes direct
communication more difficult. In addition, it becomes more difficult to
practice joint parenthood, especially in view of potentially long distances